


we're taller in another dimension

by lanternparks



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Action/Adventure, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Superheroes/Superpowers, Canon-Typical Violence, F/F, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Major Character Injury, Minor Character Death, Slow Burn, X-men Inspired
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-08
Updated: 2017-06-08
Packaged: 2018-11-10 19:25:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,017
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11133177
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lanternparks/pseuds/lanternparks
Summary: For some reason you believe her. You don’t know if it’s her powers or her words, but for the first time in your life you don’t feel like your body is an atom bomb. You feel like a human.or: clarke, lexa, raven and octavia are placed in a team together for their final year at a special school for kids with superpowers.





	we're taller in another dimension

**Author's Note:**

> this will be pretty plot heavy, fyi. this is also unbeta'd, so i apologize in advance for any mistakes.

**_clarke._ **

_Shit, shit, fuck._

You’re late. You blame the fact that it's a Sunday. Who schedules this important of events on a Sunday?

You weren’t late to one of your classes this semester, and you managed to ace every single one of them—even physical training—and yet you end up being late to your team assignment.

It’s only the moment you’ve been waiting for for the past twelve years. _No big deal._

It’s times like these where you hate the massive size of the campus. Although you only woke up thirty minutes late, it took you five to throw on an outfit, and another ten to make it across campus from your dorm.

Yanking the doors to Grayson Hall open, you burst into the room, which is considerably less full than it was an hour ago. The only remaining people in the hall are supervisors, and three girls around your age.

_That’s them_ , you think.

As you walk over to them, the emotions hit you like waves. It’s always been like this. One person has multiple layers of emotions; they might be upset, but they mask it with rage. And you don’t feel just one person’s array of emotions, you feel everyone’s.

You can feel the annoyance, even a little anger, coming from the group but you expected as much the minute you read your alarm clock.

“Clarke Griffin?” One of them asks, and you nod. She has dark hair and tan skin but the thing your eyes land on is the brace on her leg. You’ve never seen her around campus before.

“Nice of you to finally grace us with your presence,” another one of them grumbles. She’s the tallest of the four of you, but only by a couple inches. Her long, brown hair falls past her shoulders in a complex string of braids. You don’t need to be an empath to know she’s the angry one.

There’s a hand in your face before you even have the chance to be offended. “I’m Octavia Blake,” the last one says. That’s when you’re hit with a wave of excitement, anticipation and more. At least you know one of them isn’t annoyed with you.

Now that you can get a good look at her, she’s the only one of the three that looks vaguely familiar. You distantly remember having one or two classes with her, over the years, even though she was a year younger than you. It was always the physical training courses, which tend to be a mix of all ages. The only reason you think you remember her is because she was always top of the class in those courses.

 “Raven Reyes,” the girl with the brace offers.

You turn to the second girl again; her arms are folding across her chest, and until you look at her she doesn’t seem to notice the fact that you’re waiting for her to introduce herself. For a moment, she just stares back at you until you raise a brow expectantly.

“Alexandria Woods,” she says.

Silence falls over the group. It’s uncomfortable and you wonder how you could ever learn to trust these girls enough to fight beside them.

You remind yourself it’s just for the year. It’s mandatory for graduation, but it doesn’t mean you’ll fight alongside them after this year, or that you’ll even be a superhero once you graduate.

It’s basically just a yearlong final exam.

Octavia breaks the silence, grabbing your forearm and dragging you behind her, assuming the other two girls will just follow along. “There’s our supervisor! She oversees all our training,” she tells you excitedly. You assume they all have already met the supervisor while they waited for you to arrive.

A dark skinned woman stands by a folding table, a clipboard in her hand and various sheets of paper scattered on the table as well. Her eyes are focused on the clipboard, and even as you approach, her attention doesn’t waiver.

“Indra, Clarke’s finally here,” Octavia pipes up after a moment. The woman, Indra, finally looks up from the clipboard, and gives you an once-over. Her gaze is far more intimidating than any of your teammates.

“Good,” she nods. “I can finally give you all your new schedules and room keys,” she says, taking four pieces of paper from her clipboard and distributing them out to you all.

Your eyes rake over the list of classes first, before moving on to the teachers. Internally you groan at the physical training that you have three times a week, as well as the light team training every morning, and practice missions with your team every Wednesday. You only have a few other classes outside of the physical and power-focused ones; the school doesn’t offer anything past high school advanced placement courses, and you received the mandatory number of credits in your last spring semester.

A biology course catches your eye on the list, considering you got that credit years ago. It’s only until you read further that you realize it’s not a course you’ll be taking, but a course you’ll be tutoring younger students in.

You’ll have to ask Indra about that, because you don’t remember signing up to be a tutor. Not that you’re complaining—you aced biology the first time, and then went on to take AP Biology as well. You can’t imagine it would be all too hard to tutor a few kids in the course.

When you finally finish going over your classes, Raven and Octavia are already searching for any shared courses. From the scowl on Octavia’s face, you’re pretty sure they don’t share many classes besides the ones shared between the whole team.

Before Alexandria can protest, Octavia snatches her schedule from her and immediately her face perks up. “We have most of the same classes together,” she says with a smile before turning to you. “What about you, Clarke?”

You hand her your schedule and she goes through it just as fast as she’s gone through the others. She frowns as she gets to the bottom of the list, handing your schedule back with a shrug. “Just the classes with the whole team.”

Once you have your paper back, Indra clears her throat. “Now that you’re done swapping schedules, you need to get down to the medical hall for your physicals. You’re already late.” She sends a glare in your direction, as if to say _thanks to you_.

Great, even your supervisor hates you.

\---

Unsurprisingly, the medical hall is empty, save for staff, by the time you arrive. It’s the only good thing to come out of you being late.

You’d been here before—several times, actually. Just two months prior you came in for a sprained ankle.

Despite your ability to heal others, you couldn’t heal your own injuries. The same could be said for your other ability. You could feel and manipulate anybody’s emotions, but you couldn’t figure out your own emotions if your life depended on it.

The medical bay is just as it was two months ago. It’s very much like any other schools’ nurse’s office, except more extensive. Most of the supplies are hidden away in a closet in the back of the room. There are about a dozen twin sized beds lining the walls, and in another corner of the room are two desks. Only one of the two nurses is at his desk; Jackson sits, eating his lunch, while Nyko is nowhere to be seen.

Jackson is the first to notice them. Abandoning his lunch, he gets up to greet them. “I thought we were finished for the day?” he asks Indra.

“This one,” she looks at you, “was late.” She hands him a folder which he accepts.

“Sorry,” you mumble. “Again.”

Jackson shrugs, “Its fine. We just have to do a basic physical on you all, get your measurements for your new suits. It’s all very basic.”

“Do our suits come with masks?” Octavia asks excitedly.

Jackson laughs, “No, you’re not superheroes. The suits will be just like your old ones, but better equipped to deal with each of your individual powers. There’ll just be less likely to be damaged in training.”

You hear something from the supply closet, before Nyko’s head pops out. “I thought we were finished for the day?”

“Last one! They were late,” Jackson calls over his shoulder. He turns back towards you and the group. “You guys can take a seat if you want.”

You all take a seat on the nearby beds.

Jackson heads towards to the back of the room again, stopping in front of a filing cabinet. He opens the folder that Indra handed him, and after a moment, opens the filing cabinet as well. His fingers pass over file after file until he finds the one he wants and pulls it out. Then he does it again until he has four files.

As he walks back to the front of the medical bay, he flicks open the first of the files. “Octavia Blake.”

Octavia perks up at her name. “That’s me.”

“You’re up first.” He motions for her to stand up and she eagerly jumps off the cot. “Follow me.”

He leads her over to the scales and quickly gets her weight and height written in. Then he measures her around the waist, chest and shoulders. Afterwards he gets a blood sample and then sends her back over to the beds.

You’re next. It only takes a few minutes and then it’s Raven’s turn, and finally, Alexandria.

“That’s it,” Jackson says, closing the last file. “You all seem healthy. Your suits should be ready in a few days.”

“Thank you, Jackson,” Indra says.

“No problem, it’s what I’m here for.”

Indra nods and turns to the four of you. “You’re free to go get settled in your new dorms now.”

\---

You all walk together towards your new dorms. Fortunately, you’re all in the same building, Todd Hall.

“So what are guys’ powers? I adapt to everything—can’t be killed. It’s pretty cool to see it in action,” Octavia rambles.

Raven and Alexandria remain silent, so you decide to pipe up before the silence becomes awkward. “I’m an empath, and I can heal people—a little.”

“You can heal people?” Raven asks, suddenly interested. You feel a glimmer of hope coming from her, and your eyes fall back down to her leg.

“Kind of. It’s really draining for me, so I can’t do major injuries.” You pause before continuing. “And I can’t heal old wounds. It doesn’t work on scar tissue and damaged nerves and stuff like that. Just open wounds,” you explain further.

You feel the hope disappear right out of her almost as fast as it appeared. You try to catch her gaze as if to say, _I’m sorry_ , but her eyes stay glued to the floor.

You feel especially bad for her now, as you climb up the flights of stairs in the dorm building. The school is so old, it doesn’t have elevators. She must be used to it by now, if she’s been going to the school this long though. That is, unless the injury is recent.

“You’re an empath too?” Octavia asks, missing the moment and emotion.

“Yeah, I can tell what people are feeling and kind of manipulate people's emotions too.”

You’ve never been that crazy about this ability. It was…rough, to say the least, when your abilities first appeared and you had no control over them. Feeling every emotion, when you were so young you barely knew what some of those emotions were…

Even now that you have a handle on the power, you would trade it for something else in a heartbeat. It feels like an invasion of privacy to know what everyone is feeling, whether you or they like it or not. At times you know people better than they know themselves, and you don’t even know their names.

“Really? What am I feeling?”

Out of the corner of your eye you catch Raven rolling her eyes. “You’re excited, happy.”

“It doesn’t take an empath to know that,” Raven grumbles. “She’s like one of those weird, homeschooled vegan kids on sugar for the first time. Anyone could tell she’s excited.”

“Hey!”

You ignore Octavia’s outburst. “Fine, want to know what you’re feeling?”

“I already know what I’m feeling.”

“I know you do. Don’t you want me to prove that I know?”

“Whatever, I don’t care about your powers anyway.”

It gets quiet for a moment, almost awkward, but of course it doesn’t last for long.

“What about you? What’s your power?” Octavia asks, nudging Alexandria. You almost forgot she was there, she’s been so quiet.

“Elemental manipulation,” she says simply.

“What kind of elements?” Octavia probes.

“All of them,” she shrugs. “Fire, water, earth, air.”

“That’s awesome! You should show us!”

“I’d rather not right now.”

“Oh come on,” Octavia starts.

“You’ll see plenty of our powers once training starts. Wouldn’t want to get bored of them before it even starts, right?” You interject.

Octavia shrugs in indifference. “This is my floor,” she says as you finish the latest flight of stairs.

“Mine too,” Raven says.

“See you guys at training,” you say as they wave goodbye.

You and Alexandria continue the trek upstairs in silence. It’s only another flight.

When you reach the next floor you both head towards the rooms. _So you’re on the same floor._ Neither of you say anything, still, until you both stop in front of the same door.

_Oh._ You'd never thought to ask her what room she was in.

“I guess we’re roommates.”

\---

“Can you control your powers?”

It’s the first time you’ve heard Alexandria talk since you arrived in the new dorm room.

The sun is starting to set, and you’re relaxing on your new bed, a sketchpad in your lap. Your things were mostly set up for you before you arrived. All you had to do was unpack your clothes, and now you have the day to yourself.

“What?” you mumble, caught off guard and only half hearing the question.

“Can you turn your powers on and off? Or do you always know what everyone’s feeling?”

“I might be able to eventually. Right now I can only get it down to a hum, like in the back of my head, if that makes sense,” you explain.

You really don’t know all that much about your empath abilities. You know how to manipulate people’s emotions, and how to quiet them down in your head, but you don’t know if it will ever be more than that or if you’ll ever be able to turn the emotions off completely. No one else in your family has ever had this ability—that you know of at least—so you have nothing to go on.

Almost everyone you’ve met at the school in your twelve years here have inherited some part of their power from their ancestors, whether it be their parents or their distant, great uncle. Not you, though.

Your dad had powers—he was a technokinetic, in no way related to your powers.

“So how deep does it go? Do you really feel everyone’s emotions, all of them?” Alexandria asks, pulling you from your thoughts. She almost sounds worried.

“I feel everything. All the layers of emotions. It’s usually pretty easy for me to figure out where they’re coming from too, or who they’re directed towards, but not always. It’s easier to do that when it’s only one or two people I’m dealing with,” you elaborate.

“Oh,” is all she says in return, nodding, as she takes the information in.

“Don’t worry, I don’t go around telling people what everyone’s feeling,” you add after a moment of silence.

She just nods again and goes back to what she was doing before the conversation, but you can tell she’s grateful.

\---

**_lexa._ **

A burst of wind hits you from behind as Nathan runs yet another lap around you, the force of his speed sending your hair into your face.

The track is empty save for the two of you. The campus is barely alive, most students only just getting out of bed now to prepare for their first classes of the new semester. It’s seven in the morning; Nathan only crawls out of bed this early to accompany you on your runs, though you’re fairly certain he finds pleasure in running hundreds of laps around you in the time it takes for you to run your standard mile.

“So do you think you’ll make captain?” He asks, settling on a steady jog for the moment to make conversation.

“It’s too early to tell, don’t you think?”

You don’t know the girls that well yet, though you’re fairly confident you’ll make captain.

Surprisingly, you know Octavia best out of all of them. You’ve shared a few classes over the years, since you’re a year behind academically. She’s hardworking and determined, there’s no denying that, but she’s also impulsive and immature. She’d have a long way to go before any supervisor at the school would make her captain of a team.

You’ve never heard of Raven Reyes before yesterday, and you’ve never seen her around school, which is surprising given the number of students. She’s a mystery to you. From what you saw yesterday, she doesn’t seem like she wants anything to do with leading the team, but then again, they all might have gotten the same impression from you given how quiet you were. She could surprise you.

Then there’s Clarke—the late one, the empath and now your roommate. You don’t know much about her either, but you do know she hasn’t made a good first impression on your supervisor, so it should take quite the turnaround for you to need to worry about her.

“Maybe for you,” Nathan responds just as he’s finished another lap around the field, another breeze hitting your back. “I’m pretty sure Bellamy is gonna be captain of my team.”

“I think you could make it, if you wanted to.”

He shrugs, “I don’t, though. I like only having myself to worry about.”

“You don’t need to be captain to worry about the rest of your team. That’s part of being in a team.”

He finishes another lap during the breath you take in between sentences. “Don’t remind me. At least it’s just a year before we can graduate.”

 “Why are you so sure Bellamy Blake will be captain anyway?”

“Well, it helps that anything he says you have to do.”

Your pace slows by a fraction. “Like mind control?”

“Persuasion, he claims there’s a difference.”

The idea alone sends a shiver down your spine. You’d never heard of Bellamy Blake before today, but you’re sure there’s not a person on earth who should have the power to control someone else. “I’m sure the school wouldn’t have found him fit to be in a team yet if he was willing to force his way into captaincy.”

Nathan laughs, “I know that, Lexa. Chill out.”

Sometimes you take things too seriously, or miss the sarcasm laced in people’s tones. You can be quite sarcastic yourself at times, almost maliciously if you’re in a mood, but you have a problem picking up when others use it themselves.

“Well who else is in your team?”

“Monty Green and Wells Jaha. Wells is that crazy professor’s son, the one that can talk to ghosts.”

You nod, “I’m pretty sure he’s teaching my economics class this year.”

“That should be fun.”

You roll your eyes. It’s a wonder the school even let’s Jaha teach anymore. After his wife died, he wouldn’t stop communicating with her, despite being told it wasn’t healthy. He’s never really come back to reality since then. 

“Shit,” Nathan says, looking down at his watch. “It’s seven-thirty. We should head back if we want to get breakfast before class.”

You nod in agreement and skid to a halt. “Do you want to eat together?”

 “I think I’m gonna eat with my team, try to get to know them. You can join me if you want.”

You shake your head. “It’s okay, I should probably eat with my team as well.”

“See you later, Lexa,” he smiles before breaking into a full sprint, the only sign of him is a distant blur and the mist of the dust from the track field.

\---

By the time you arrive Raven, Octavia and Clarke are already sat at a table eating. They’re in deep conversation with each other as you approach, clearly already comfortable around each other. When you reach the table, they fall silent.

After a moment Raven pipes up. “Hey Alexandria, sit down,” she says, scooting over to make room for you.

“Thank you,” you say quietly, taking a seat. You make sure to leave a bit of space between the two of you.

The silence continues for a couple minutes, the other girls taking bites of their food to pass the time. You don’t know what they were talking about before you walked over, or why your arrival caused such a disturbance, but now you wish you took Nathan up on his offer.

“Did you hear what happened?” Clarke finally says after a few more moments go by with the only noise being the clash of silverware and the dozens of indistinguishable voices in the room around you.

You shake your head, having no idea what she’s talking about.

“A student’s missing.”

Your eyebrows shoot up. “Who?”

“Jasper Jordan. He was placed in a team last semester,” Clarke tells you.

No student has ever gone missing since as long as you’ve been going to the school, and you don’t remember hearing about it happen in the past. There’s been the occasional student who gets locked out past curfew or stays out the whole weekend without a pass, but there’s never been reason to worry.

The school is one of the only safe havens for kids like you. The media attention has died down in recent years, but having special abilities is still treated like a dirty secret. Schools like these are one of the few places you can be yourself without any institutional discrimination. There’s no reason a student would want to run away—not permanently at least.

“How long has he been missing?”

“Just since last night, but there’s more to it than that,” Octavia begins. “He was out in the city with his girlfriend. They were attacked by a group of men, and their powers just stopped working. She was able to run and after a while her powers came back and she was able to teleport back here—that’s her power,” she explains. “When administrators went back to the city he was gone. They think he was kidnapped.”

That’s serious. Really serious.

There haven’t been attacks on mutants since the schools first opened—since they started segregating you all from “normal” society. It wasn’t right, but it kept things like this from happening. And even if they were attacked because of their powers, it didn’t even begin to explain why their powers would suddenly stop working.

“I just don’t understand why someone would do that,” Clarke says.

“It might not even have to do with the fact that they have powers. The guys who attacked them couldn’t have been able to tell, unless they were using them in public,” Octavia adds.

“That still doesn’t explain why they lost their powers, though. I want to know how that happened,” Raven says.

“It wasn’t permanent, though. She was able to teleport back here,” Clarke argues.

They keep going back and forth and you tune them out for a moment, still digesting the information.

It’s probably completely unrelated to their abilities, when you think about it. Normal people are attacked and kidnapped every day. As long as neither of them was using their powers in public, they would pass as normal people, and these things could happen to anyone.

“It could’ve been nerves,” you blurt out, speaking as you think. Three pairs of eyes find yours, their conversation coming to a halt with your interruption. “Their powers, I mean. They could’ve choked—didn’t know what to do in a real fight,” you offer.

The conversation blows up again as soon as you finish talking. It’s hard to hear who is saying what as they all try to comment at once.

“But both of them? I get one of them choking—”

“If they’ve been in a team for a semester and couldn’t handle a few normal guys, I’d hate to see one of us if we got attacked.”

So, they probably didn’t have performance anxiety. It was a good guess, given the whole five minutes you’ve known about the situation.

There’s no point in worrying about it until Headmaster Kane makes an official announcement. Any new information you hear before then is more likely to be misconstrued gossip or poor guesses like your own than the truth.

\---

**_raven._ **

You can’t say you weren’t intrigued when you first heard about what happened last night. Of course you feel bad for the poor kid—Jasper (you’ve heard his name enough times today to remember it for the rest of your life, and breakfast just ended)—but you’re intrigued.

Their powers just seemingly _disappeared_ , only to reappear ten minutes later.

The obvious question is why did they stop working, but you want to know why they came back. Will there be lasting effects on Maya? Her powers could disappear tomorrow permanently, or go in and out from time to time. Or maybe nothing at all will happen to her. It’s impossible to know without knowing why they stopped working in the first place.

You wish you had the ability to read people’s minds, or hear through walls.

You’re _curious._

You want more than just the gossip that’s been going around since the news broke out this morning.

You’ve always wanted more. You’ve always wanted more information, more knowledge.

But this is different. This is personal.

People don’t just lose their powers. It’s never happened before, not as far as you know. Your abilities are a part of you, literally. They’re in your genetics, lying dormant like cancer, until one day they wake up and they stay with you until you die, whether you want those powers or not. They don’t just go away.

It’s impossible.

“Raven!”

You’re pulled out of your thoughts by a voice that’s become all too familiar in the last twenty four hours—Octavia.

“What?”

“You need to get changed.”

You take a look around and only then notice that you’re the only one still in your clothes from breakfast. Everyone else is changed into dark, skin tight outfits.

“They’re our practice uniforms until we get the ones specially designed for each of us. These ones should hold up until then,” Octavia explains.

You can’t hold back a snort of amusement. _We’ll see about that._

\---

You’re in one of the many gyms that the school has. It’s the size of a basketball court, but the only ones occupying it are your team and Indra.

“Today the focus will be on testing your powers,” Indra begins, pacing in front of you and the girls, a clipboard in hand. “Seeing how much you can control them, how much you can push yourselves. Once we know that, we can design a training regimen fit to each of your needs.”

Your lip trembles just a fraction, hardly noticeable to anyone else in the room, but then you feel slender fingers gently taking your hand in theirs. A wave of calm hits you. It’s different than what you imagined. You don’t go numb and it’s not like you’d imagine being on drugs to be like. It’s completely different from that.

It’s like…a suggestion. It doesn’t force the feeling on you, but you know it’s there, and that alone helps your nerves and worry. It’s like when a therapist tells you to think of a happy place when you’re upset, expect it actually works.

“Is this okay?” A voice close to you says.

You look up, and it’s Clarke, of course, it couldn’t be anyone else. Her hand is in yours. You just nod, not wanting to speak.

Indra speaks up again, and you feel Clarke’s hand leave yours. “For the ones with non-active powers,” she looks at Clarke and Octavia, “there will be other tests as well as the ones on your powers. Now let’s begin.”

\---

She has Alexandria go first, and the whole room collectively gasps as she conjures up a flame the size of her fingernail, only to make it grow until it’s a ball of fire filling the whole room. The only reason she stops is because Indra finally tells her to, and then the ball of flames disappears in the blink of an eye, only leaving behind a wisp of smoke.

So, she wasn’t losing control, she was just showing off.

After Alexandria’s demonstration, Indra has Octavia come forward. “Attack her,” Indra tells Alexandria.

“You want me to attack her?”

“Do I need to repeat myself?” she asks. “She has adaptability, she wouldn’t be on a team yet if she couldn’t handle it.”

That’s all it takes before Alexandria is launching fistfuls of fire at Octavia, and just as you’re about to witness this girl be engulfed in flames, her skin turns to steel and the fireballs go out as soon as they hit her.

“Try something else,” Indra instructs.

Alexandria’s eyes close and everything is still for a moment. Her arms are reached out and her fingers tremble in concentration.

Alexandria’s eyes open, and then it happens.

You’re not sure where it comes from, or how it happens, but a wave (more like a small tsunami) rushes towards Octavia. She falls to the ground as it crashes into her and instead of dispersing afterwards, the water engulfs her. Alexandria strides forward, looming over Octavia and bending the water to her will.

She looks so menacing, it takes you a moment to realize how weak the attack is making her. Alexandria’s hands are shaking far worse than before, and her skin has gone pale, but she doesn’t stop.

Her legs have started to sway as well when Indra finally puts a stop to it.

“Go get a drink,” she tells her.

Alexandria’s arms fall to her side and the water disappears but she shakes her head. “I’m fine.”

“I said, take a break, _now_.”

She clenches her jaw, but does what Indra says and walks away on shaky legs.

Octavia is just now getting up, soaked from head to toe, though fortunately the suit seems to be soaking up most of the moisture. On the side of her neck, on both sides, are a set of gills that slowly disappear now that the threat is gone. “That was awesome,” she smiles.

“Reyes, you’re next.”

You know there’s no getting out of this, so you take a deep breath and step forward.

“Attack her.”

“Hasn’t she had enough?” you ask.

“She’s invincible,” she says as an answer. “Besides, this is the perfect way to test you all at once.”

You turn to Clarke. “You should take a few steps back,” you tell her.

Her eyebrows raise in question but she does what you say and you turn back towards Octavia.

Closing your eyes, you focus on the energy around you. You can’t see it, but after a moment you start to feel the familiar prickle of static on the tips of your fingers and you can hear the light bulbs in the gym go out with a _pop!_

When you open your eyes again, the room is dark. The only light comes from your hands and the orb of cosmic energy between them. You should be used to it by now, but your eyes still burn looking at it.

You know you’re going to lose control if you don’t release it soon and it does nothing to ease the nerves in the pit of your stomach.

Indra wouldn’t have made you do this if Octavia couldn’t handle it. You repeat that in your head over and over but each time your fear only gets worse.

Knowing your emotions will only make things more erratic, you let the blast of energy go before things can get any worse.

As soon as you let it go the lights in the gym flicker back to life, just in time for you to see the blast knock Octavia off her feet. She goes flying backwards, only stopping when she hits the gymnasium walls.

There’s smoke in the air but through it you can see her struggling to get up. Her suit is scorched, with parts of it burnt off entirely, and there are cracks in the wall where she hit it. If it had been anyone else, they’d be dead.

“Good work, Reyes,” Indra says, marking something down on the clipboard.

If anything, it only makes you feel worse. You’d roll your eyes but you’re worried tears will slip if you do.

You don’t catch what she says next as you make your way to the changing rooms. All you notice is the fact that Octavia is still on the floor.

\---

You’re sitting in one of the private stalls in the changing rooms, the door locked. You don’t know how long you’ve been sitting here. It could be a few minutes, or half an hour. It feels like forever with just your thoughts.

You always thought this place would teach you how to control your powers. And they have, thank God for that. But you also thought it would teach how to not be a weapon, how to stop from hurting people.

Maybe it’s not the school’s fault. Maybe you were always meant to be a weapon.

A knock on the stall door makes you jump.

“Who is it?” you ask as you stand up.

“Clarke, can I come in?”

You open the door and she comes inside. It’s not the most spacious, but it’s not uncomfortable either.

“Are you okay?” she asks.

“Don’t you already know?”

She shrugs, “Yeah, I guess I do. Do you want to talk about it, though?”

You shake your head. “Not really.”

“That’s okay, we can just sit here. Or I mean, I can leave, if that’s what you want.” Her hand goes for the door handle, but you stop her before she can reach it.

“No, stay. There’s something comforting about you.”

She smirks, “Yeah, I have that effect on people.”

You laugh and there’s a moment of silence. “I wish I had your powers,” you finally say.

You can’t imagine how good it would feel to be able to heal people, physically and emotionally, even just a little. To bring comfort and peace to others, instead of destruction and death.

“It’s not all it’s cracked up to,” she says.

“You’ve got to be a mind reader, too.”

She laughs and shakes her head. “No, I’m just good at reading people, interpreting emotions. You’re jealous. It was an easy guess.”

You roll your eyes. “Mind reader, healer, whatever. Anything is better than what I have.”

“I dunno, Octavia and I thought it was pretty badass. Indra was impressed too.”

“Is she okay?”

“Of course she is.” After a beat she continues, “You know, after this—after graduation, you don’t have to ever use your powers again. You don’t have to be involved with this stuff if you don’t want to be.”

“Yeah, I know,” you nod. “But what about until then? What if I hurt one of you guys?”

“That’s what I’m here for,” she smiles. “That’s why we’re in a team. They didn’t just pick us randomly, you know. They put us together because they knew we’d work well together. They knew we’d take care of each other.”

For some reason you believe her. You don’t know if it’s her powers or her words, but for the first time in your life you don’t feel like your body is an atom bomb. You feel like a human.

**Author's Note:**

> i'm on tumblr at @bottomleksa if anyone wants to hmu


End file.
